I’ve been thinking loads lately about why our job can be so exhausting.
I know we work hard, and I know we work lots of hours and I know we put all of ourselves into our work and our businesses, but I mean more about why it can be so mentally exhausting, especially at this stage of the season.
For me, my season is almost over. Two left and that’s it. I don’t have a single winter wedding this year.
I know the party line is to say ‘I’ve taken on less work by choice’ but I’d be fibbing if I said that. I just haven’t received any winter bookings.
Shame because I love a winter wedding.
Anyway, as my season is winding down I do feel a weight being lifted. Throughout wedding season, I start off bouncy and chirpy (well my version of bouncy and chirpy which actually isn’t all that bouncy or chirpy) and then by mid-season that’s shifted into more of a ‘head down, keep going’ kind of attitude.
And it weighs heavy on me, the desire to do a phenomenal job for my clients. I think that’s what weighs heavy on us all.
But why.
And I think the answer is performance pressure, and performance anxiety.
Performance pressure then.
I actually started thinking about this because of Marcus Rashford. If you didn’t know, I’m a die hard life long Man United supporter. And lately Marcus Rashford isn’t playing that great and we love him and we want him to be the best player in the world.
And I thought, that must be hard for him. That pressure he must feel to be the best player on the pitch every time he plays, and then when he doesn’t perform or we get on his back or the media gets on his back, that pressure must increase.
I know, we’re not premier league footballers. And I know, wedding photography isn’t sport.
But we also have that performance pressure. Our clients want the best possible photos, and we want to take the best possible photos, and that’s pressure. Every wedding is basically a cup final for us.
And if you’re trying to perform under that pressure week in, week out, then it’s going to build up and create performance anxiety…
So, go with me here, I’m no psychologist but I find this stuff fascinating.
Performance anxiety is our psychological response to performance pressure.
I know I personally place a lot of pressure on myself to try and take world class photos at every wedding. And while I do love my work on the whole, I also always wish I’d taken better photos or been more creative or whatever.
And the trouble is, psychologically, each time you feel like you’ve not lived up to expectations – from yourself, or from your clients or whoever – the performance pressure next time will feel greater, and that could mean an even more extreme performance anxiety.
And that’s why over the course of a season, just like a footballer, that performance pressure can grind you down and the performance anxiety grows.
So, like I say I’ve been researching all this stuff this week. Are you feeling any of this right now (or constantly)?
– Like you’ve got no ideas?
– Like you don’t want to take creative risks?
– Feeling anxious or burnt-out?
– Not finding your work as enjoyable?
– An increasing fear of criticism?
Well guess what, all that stuff is a result of ongoing performance pressure and performance anxiety. Mad hey?
The thing I like about finding out that something is actual psychology, is that I know it’s not just a me thing. It’s a completely normal human thing. That alone should cause you to breathe a sigh of relief.
So while there’s no solution to this, I do have some suggestions – and these are suggestions for me and for you. I’m not a psychologist, I’m just someone who’s feeling all this stuff for real.
1) A lot of the pressure we feel to perform at and beyond our maximum comes from ourselves, our so-called reputations, and another psychological thing called ‘the spotlight effect’ where we feel like people are waiting with baited breath to see our next set of photos (a salty side effect of social media). Well guess what – you can stop being a dick to yourself and just allow yourself to go out and enjoy taking pictures and forget all the other stuff.
2) We choose to believe our clients are expecting the world’s best wedding photos. But guess what? Most of the time the photography definitely isn’t as important to our clients as we wish it was. Sure they want good photos to remember the day by, but they also want us to enjoy being at their wedding. And if you’ve communicated what you do and how you work well, then the clients expectations will never be unrealistic.
3) You are only in control of the process, not the result! Honestly this is massive. There’s another psychology thing called the outcome bias which I’ll write about another day, but basically if you shift your focus onto enjoying the process of making photos, your results will be better than if you focus purely on the photos themselves. That makes no sense, but look up ‘outcome bias’ or wait for me to write a newsletter about it. Basically enjoy the journey instead of worrying about the destination.
4) Don’t believe your own press or hype. If you’ve followed me for a long time you’ll know this was my NineDots catchphrase back in the day. Trying to live up to a reputation is idiotic. Make your work without ego or self-importance, and never try to please a non-existent audience.
5) Throw off the shackles. Are you being true to your own tastes as a photographer or are you trying to please the wider industry, follow trends, fit into a box, be popular, or do anything that doesn’t feel creatively natural to you? Next wedding go with the flow, trust and follow your instincts, and improvise.
6) Learn to appreciate other people’s work without it becoming a target to achieve for you.
I hope some of those tips help you (and me) and that understanding performance pressure and performance anxiety help us to overcome it, because existing in a state of constant anxiety through a never-ending fear of poor performance is actually what will lead to us not creating the kind of work we are truly capable of.
And I just want Marcus Rashford to enjoy his football and smile.
Thanks for reading.
Adam
PS – I’ve got a tour coming up with FedWed. I’ll be speaking at a load of GraphiStudio events all over the UK and Ireland between now and Christmas, and then tagging on some kind of evening event – possibly a winter weddings/night portraits workshop but I’ve not fully decided yet. If that’s something you’re interested in then either sign up to the FedWed mailing list or keep an eye on the FedWed instagram. I’ll let you know here when dates are coming up, but I’ll keep it in the PS’s. Next one is Manchester 20th September.
